


you're my home

by onewavenue



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, We Die Like Men, not edited, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewavenue/pseuds/onewavenue
Summary: when yuto finds himself lost in the darkness, he finds his home with his best friends.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Jung Wooseok, Adachi Yuto/Jung Wooseok/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Adachi Yuto/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Adachi Yuto/Ko Shinwon
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	you're my home

**Author's Note:**

> im struggling a lot with rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria) right now and sometimes it helps to project what im feeling onto someone else since it helps me sort things out… anyways sorry yuto i love u. not beta read or edited. i interpreted wooyuki's relationship as platonic but its up to you which way you look at it really.
> 
> TW for detailed descriptions of a panic attack

everything around yuto seemed to blur together as he mindlessly wandered the dim hallways of the cube entertainment building. it was late - exactly how late, we wasn’t sure, it must have been around ten or eleven at this point. he had left the practice room after hui not-so-gently encouraged him to go for a walk to clear his head after completely failing to keep up with the rest of the group while they were running through their new choreography. it must have been at least half an hour since then and he wondered what everyone was thinking. they must be glad to be able to practice without him burdening everyone and slowing them down.

yuto turned and started to walk down another fairly nondescript hallway until he noticed where he was - the studios. almost automatically he set out towards his own, punching in the passcode and ducking into the small room.

as soon as the heavy door shut and locked behind him, yuto fell to the ground with a scream, burying his hands in his hair and pulling tight enough to rip some strands out.  _ thank god these studios are soundproof, _ he thought, as he fell forward and sobbed into the carpet of the nearly pitch-dark room. the darkness only exacerbated his emotions and he soon found himself breathing fast, too fast, as he searched for the switch to his LED strips. he gave up eventually and sunk down onto where he remembered the couch to be, staring up at the ceiling and into the darkness. it seemed to come alive around him, consuming his mind and replacing any coherent thought he may have had left with fear. his breathing got faster and hitched in his throat, causing his chest to lurch so hard it hurt as another wrecked sob forced its way out of him. he could feel the heavy knot in his chest twisting itself tighter and tighter, the only sounds he was able to make being awful combinations of sobs, hard breaths, and screams.

he thought that crying would eventually calm him down but it never did, and he became too lost in his own primal fear that he hardly heard the frantic knocking and yelling outside his door.

a voice cut through the fog in his head.

“yuto,  _ please _ , open the door.”

hyunggu.

his voice sounded strained, like he was crying too, and something about that snapped yuto out of his haze just enough to unlock the door, quickly settling back onto the couch as hyunggu’s voice drifted away into the mist along with the rest of them. yuto was still pulling roughly at his hair and sobbing roughly when he heard it again.

“yuto, is it okay if i touch you?”

a different voice this time. wooseok’s, which seemed to be coming from right next to him.

yuto could barely manage to stutter out the word “hand,” but wooseok seemed to understand, and he felt one of his own hands being gently tugged out of his hair and into wooseok’s lap. the younger was clasping it in between both of his own and rubbing circles into it with the pad of his thumb. yuto managed to grip one of wooseok’s large hands tightly and used it to start to anchor himself back to reality.

hyunggu’s voice cuts through the haze again, opposite wooseok. 

“hey, yuto, can you hear me?”

yuto nods just barely, but hyunggu seems relieved, and asks him another question.

“can you do some deep breathing for me? i’ll count for you, okay?”

yuto’s breathing is still ragged and shallow and right now he can’t even imagine that it could ever be any other way, but he wants to try for hyunggu so he nods again.

“okay. breathe with me, okay?”

hyunggu’s voice cracks on the last syllable and yes, yuto can tell that he’s definitely crying. this just makes him sob again and squeeze wooseok’s hand impossibly tighter, but neither of them seem to mind and yuto still wants to try so he focuses on the presence next to him, listening to hyunggu’s soft voice counting up and down and up and down and feeling the way the boy next to him breathes deeply as he tries to calm himself as well.

when yuto’s breathing is somewhat stable, he cracks open his eyes to see that someone turned on his purple lights, and they’re quite soothing to look at, and  _ oh. everyone else is here too. _

he immediately feels himself shrinking again and closes his eyes, his breathing speeding up as he thinks  _ you can’t let them see you like this. why are they even here? they don’t want anything to do with you. you’ll never be good enough for them.  _ wooseok notices that yuto’s slipping and squeezes his hand from where it’s starting to loosen in his grip. yuto also distantly registers that hyunggu’s hand is rubbing his back, and it feels nice, but he still feels exposed with everyone else in the room so he pulls away from both of them and lets his hands come back to pulling his hair as another sob forces its way out of him.

he just wants to feel small, be held, but at the same time something inside of him needs to push away everyone who tries to come near him. he’s teetering back and forth between these two sides of himself when he feels someone in front of him, and it takes one awkward shoulder pat and a reassuring hum to know that it’s shinwon.

his body makes the decision before his brain does and yuto sort of flops off of the couch into him. his arms wrap around his chest to make himself as small as he can and shinwon’s circle around his waist, pulling him closer and rocking him back and forth as he hums comfortingly into yuto’s hair. he eventually learns to sync his breathing with shinwon’s and soon enough, the fuzzy, spent feeling that usually comes after he has a panic attack rolls over him like a wave.

he eventually feels okay enough to look up, and sure enough, the rest of them are all in the room. changgu sat in the space that yuto had just vacated, the two youngest on either side, while hui, hongseok and yanan stand around stiffly. hui is the first to speak.

“i’m really sorry about how i acted with you earlier, yuto. i should have been more careful.”

yuto just shakes his head, resigned, and shrinks further into shinwon. hui can barely make out a muffled “don’t apologize” and figures he should just drop the subject for now.

yuto can hear hyunggu crawling down to where yuto is still buried in shinwon’s arms and eventually he can feel the younger wrapping his arms around him from the other side, completely enveloping him in warmth. then, wooseok’s hand is on top of his head, massaging his scalp and stroking it gently at the parts that yuto had tugged too hard. 

after a while, the four of them move to stand up. hui looks tiredly at all of them, then at his phone, and he gasps a bit when he notices it’s almost midnight.

“let’s just call it a night, yeah?”

everyone makes small sounds of agreement and they all follow each other out of the building, the two youngest members trailing behind everyone else as they continue to fuss over yuto.

after a while of them just walking in silence, yuto speaks up, voice clipped and harsh from crying.

“do you think it would be okay if i cuddled both of you tonight?”

hyunggu chuckles but quickly silences himself as he throws an arm around yuto’s shoulders.

“yeah, we can. wooseok?”

wooseok looks over and nods, ruffling yuto’s hair affectionately. “yeah,” he says with a tinge of sadness in his voice, “i think we all need it.”

when they’re at home, yuto’s the first to crash into bed, not even bothering to change out of the sweaty clothes he’s been wearing all day. hyunggu sees this and wrinkles his nose at him before helping him out of bed and over to his closet, where he lets him pick out some comfortable clothes to sleep in. he shuffles him over to the bathroom and turns on the shower, letting the water run for a bit before checking the temperature and starting to help yuto out of his dirty clothes.

yuto feels tired and fuzzy and part of him wants to feel embarrassed for being so exposed but he loves the feeling of being taken care of and lets himself be pliant under hyunggu’s touch, relaxing into him when he scrubs shampoo into yuto’s scalp or runs his hands soothingly over his shoulders as he washes him. hyunggu doesn’t seem to mind either when yuto’s arms wrap around his bare waist as he’s washing his own hair.

when the two of them are dried and wrapped up in their pajamas, they make their way back to the bed where wooseok is stretched out, tapping away on his phone. as soon as he sees them come in, however, he reaches over for the charger and plugs it in before setting his phone down on the nightstand and scooting over to allow yuto and hyunggu under the covers with him.

wooseok is a warm sleeper, so he’s not wearing a shirt. as yuto sidles in next to him and rests his head on the younger’s chest, the skin to skin contact feels heavenly and he can feel wooseok’s heartbeat fall into step with his own. soon, hyunggu joins them, yuto’s back pressed tightly to his chest as his fingers dance over the fabric of yuto’s hoodie.

yuto exhales and lets his eyes flutter shut when wooseok’s hand rests on his cheek, lifting his face up and pressing a gentle kiss to yuto’s forehead. hyunggu does the same, pecking the space in between yuto’s shoulder blades. the two younger boys continue to kiss yuto wherever they can reach, and yuto just gets lost in it, trying to savor the affection that he so rarely got from them.

as the yuto started wavering between consciousness and sleep, only one thought crossed his mind; he was home.


End file.
